Yes, I remember…

My tears started falling after I read this article posted by a friend of mine…

Unconditional Love

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you. You thanked her by crying all night long. When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk. You thanked her by running away when she called. When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love. You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor. When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons You thanked her by coloring the dining room table. When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays. You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud. When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school. You thanked her by screaming, “I’M NOT GOING!” When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball. You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor’s window. When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap. When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice. When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastics to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back. When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row. When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house. When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste. When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could. When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn. When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus, carried your bags. You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn’t be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone. You thanked her by saying, “It’s none of your business When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future. You thanked her by saying, “I don’t want to be like you When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation. You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe. When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment. You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly. When you were 24, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future. You thanked her by glaring and growling,”Muuhh-ther, please!” When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country. When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby. You thanked her by telling her, “Things are different now.” When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative’s birthday. You thanked her by saying you were “really busy right now. When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder. YOUR HEART. If she’s still around, never forget to love her more than ever. And if she’s not, remember her unconditional love. And pass it on…

Click here to read the original source

Losing Faith

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt powerless, defenseless and battered? Wherein you tried to redeem yourself countless of times but people simply do not care? Situation where you thought you’ve finally proven your worth but realized, all efforts were lost in a battle that has already been judged prior to the actual fight?

I do. I am.

We all need to feel valued sometimes. We all need reassurance in times when we feel lost. We all need at least someone to believe us.

Life is tough. Tougher if you are surrounded by people who have pre-judged you based on someone else’s actions without even trying to see where you’re coming from. Specially if you have people around you ready to pounce at every mistake you make. Tough indeed.

I am but a human being. Do I not have the same eyes? Same ears and nose like any other human being?

“Fed with the same food. Hurt with the same weapon. Subject to the same diseases. Healed by the same means. Warmed and cooled by the same summer and winter as a Christian is. If you prick me, do I not bleed? If you tickle me, do I not laugh? If you poison me, do I not die? And if you wrong me, do I not revenge?“

So now here I am starting to lose faith. Losing control of what I thought was a good start. Losing a battle because people see you based on hearsay and negative opinions from others. But the fight isn’t over just yet. As long as I have people who still believe that I can come out of this successful, I will continue the fight. I will fight.

In the end, you will see me and the people who believes in my capabilities soar… Up up and away!

Disney Baby

Haunting memories are out (thank God) and now I’m on to my childhood days…

I admit I was a Disney baby. I think I am still. I mean who isn’t? From the very first Disney flick my mom took me which was The Little Mermaid to Aladdin to Beauty And The Beast to The Lion King and so on, I’ve watched them all. And mind you, I used to know all those Disney songs. Every phrase, verse and chorus, I memorized them all. And its a nice retreat from all the grown-up troubles and just relive the good old days when I used to pretend I am half fish or I have a pet monkey named Abu or I’m riding a magic carpet or a Lion. Childhood indeed. I smile every time I remember all the wild imaginations I had back then.

Anyway, to take my mind off of boredom, I’ll post some Disney videos I like and I still sing every time I’m in the shower. Well at least once in a while.

How about you? What was your favorite Disney song?

Part Of Your World – The Little Mermaid

A Whole New World – Aladdin

Beauty And The Beast – Beauty And The Beast

Can You Feel The Love Tonight – The Lion King

Haunted

The walls I built starts to crack.

The citadel starts to crumble.

The mask breaks.

And I’m on my knees crying…

Memories I tried to hide came back rushing like a lava overflow.

Alone.

I am alone.

I’ve been alone.

I need someone to talk to.

But there is nobody there.

I need to breathe.

I need to breathe.

I need to breathe.

I haven’t really exorcised my demons.

I haven’t really talked about losing mom and pop.

I haven’t really expressed what I wanted to say.

Regret has such a bitter taste.

Acrid even.

I miss ‘Ma.

I miss Dad.

I miss kuya Itot.

I miss kuya Melbene.

I miss my family.

I am lost. But pretending I am not.

Still unsure of tomorrow.

No one understands.

No one truly cares.

I am alone.

I am alone.

I am alone.

Writing helps me vent out.

But I still need an ear to listen.

I just couldn’t hold it anymore.

Tears explode.

Self-pity is but a constant companion.

I need space.

I need to breathe.

I need to think.

I need to get away.

Everything is going way too fast.

I have to clear my head.

How?

How?

Help me.

I need to breathe.

I need someone to talk to.

Please listen.

Incoherent thoughts running through my head.

I need to breathe.

I am lost.

**I need a shrink**

I Am Inked!

More than a couple of months back (not really sure when) I posted an entry about me wanting to get a tattoo. I’ve been toying with that idea for years but I never really mastered the courage to get it. Well, yesterday afternoon I finally got myself inked and boy was I ecstatic bout it!

I thought about a phrase that best describes me and I came up with “I am one with the sea”. But I don’t want it in simple English alphabet. Then I thought of using either Hanuno’o or Baybayin characters (I chose the latter). When I told my tattoo artist about it he said I should translate the phrase first in Tagalog language first prior to them marking the words on me. And so I did.

Here’s the final “product” and I am extremely happy about it!

Click here to see my previous entry when I was still toying with the idea of getting a tattoo.