Yes, I remember…

My tears started falling after I read this article posted by a friend of mine…

Unconditional Love

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you. You thanked her by crying all night long. When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk. You thanked her by running away when she called. When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love. You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor. When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons You thanked her by coloring the dining room table. When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays. You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud. When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school. You thanked her by screaming, “I’M NOT GOING!” When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball. You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor’s window. When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap. When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice. When you were 10 years old she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastics to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back. When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row. When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house. When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming. You thanked her by telling her she had no taste. When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could. When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn. When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus, carried your bags. You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn’t be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone. You thanked her by saying, “It’s none of your business When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future. You thanked her by saying, “I don’t want to be like you When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation. You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe. When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment. You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly. When you were 24, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future. You thanked her by glaring and growling,”Muuhh-ther, please!” When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country. When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby. You thanked her by telling her, “Things are different now.” When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative’s birthday. You thanked her by saying you were “really busy right now. When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder. YOUR HEART. If she’s still around, never forget to love her more than ever. And if she’s not, remember her unconditional love. And pass it on…

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Disney Baby

Haunting memories are out (thank God) and now I’m on to my childhood days…

I admit I was a Disney baby. I think I am still. I mean who isn’t? From the very first Disney flick my mom took me which was The Little Mermaid to Aladdin to Beauty And The Beast to The Lion King and so on, I’ve watched them all. And mind you, I used to know all those Disney songs. Every phrase, verse and chorus, I memorized them all. And its a nice retreat from all the grown-up troubles and just relive the good old days when I used to pretend I am half fish or I have a pet monkey named Abu or I’m riding a magic carpet or a Lion. Childhood indeed. I smile every time I remember all the wild imaginations I had back then.

Anyway, to take my mind off of boredom, I’ll post some Disney videos I like and I still sing every time I’m in the shower. Well at least once in a while.

How about you? What was your favorite Disney song?

Part Of Your World – The Little Mermaid

A Whole New World – Aladdin

Beauty And The Beast – Beauty And The Beast

Can You Feel The Love Tonight – The Lion King

Haunted

The walls I built starts to crack.

The citadel starts to crumble.

The mask breaks.

And I’m on my knees crying…

Memories I tried to hide came back rushing like a lava overflow.

Alone.

I am alone.

I’ve been alone.

I need someone to talk to.

But there is nobody there.

I need to breathe.

I need to breathe.

I need to breathe.

I haven’t really exorcised my demons.

I haven’t really talked about losing mom and pop.

I haven’t really expressed what I wanted to say.

Regret has such a bitter taste.

Acrid even.

I miss ‘Ma.

I miss Dad.

I miss kuya Itot.

I miss kuya Melbene.

I miss my family.

I am lost. But pretending I am not.

Still unsure of tomorrow.

No one understands.

No one truly cares.

I am alone.

I am alone.

I am alone.

Writing helps me vent out.

But I still need an ear to listen.

I just couldn’t hold it anymore.

Tears explode.

Self-pity is but a constant companion.

I need space.

I need to breathe.

I need to think.

I need to get away.

Everything is going way too fast.

I have to clear my head.

How?

How?

Help me.

I need to breathe.

I need someone to talk to.

Please listen.

Incoherent thoughts running through my head.

I need to breathe.

I am lost.

**I need a shrink**

Norma Garcia Teofilo

Norma Garcia Teofilo. A simple name to some. But a shining beacon of strength and love to me and my brothers.

Raising 3 kids alone was a tough job. But somehow, you pulled it off. And we will forever be grateful for raising us well. We are all very lucky to have you as our mother. Norlito, Melbene Anthony and myself are all very lucky to have you as our Mom.

I owe all the most valuable lessons in life to you. Because I learned everything from you. From mastering strength, courage, understanding, selflessness and love. Thank you.

I’d give up anything, as in anything, just to have another day with you.

People ask me questions like ‘do I find it difficult to live alone’ or ‘am I lonely because I’m alone’ or ‘do I miss you’. I simply answer them with a smile. Because I bet they have no idea how I feel inside. Of course I can feel the pangs of envy every time I see a happy family. There will always be that longing. But I brush it off because I know I have you constantly watching over me and my brothers. My guardian angel. Our guardian angel.

Life is tough. And its tougher when you have nobody to talk to. And it surprises me every time to find a bag of strength when I need it the most. I bet that’s your doing.

Norma to some. Norming to your friends. Manang to your siblings. Mommy to my Dad. Mama to us, your kids.

Happy Birthday Ma! “Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.”

We simply have to close our eyes to feel your warmth. We miss you. I miss you so much.

I love you.

I’m posting this video of Bette Midler‘s “Wind Beneath My Wings” because you were constantly singing this song to me. Reading the lyrics, I have to say YOU are the wind beneath my wings.

“Wind Beneath My Wings”
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that’s your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I’ve got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
You’re everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?
You’re everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

 

 

 

Its A Cotton Candy Night

It was a sugar-filled night as the production floor was flooded with colors of pink and blue while the support team was giving out cotton candies to hype-up the floor…